Returned Only to Leave
by Anonymous Goon
Summary: Richard Grayson recently returned from his time as a spy, and revealed to loved ones that he was in fact alive, only to leave Gotham once more. There was a time when Damian would have pretended to be unaffected, but he is tired of saying goodbye to parental figures.


**Returned, Only to Leave**

**Richard Grayson recently returned from his time as a spy, and revealed to loved ones that he was in fact alive, only to leave Gotham once more. There was a time when Damian would have pretended to be unaffected, but he is tired of saying goodbye to parental figures. **

**Disclaimer: no ownership of these characters or franchise obviously. I'm just flexing the weakened creative writing muscles that have been left on the backburner.**

The family had encountered one shock after the next, nearly to the point of numbness. Death seemed to pull everyone apart just as much as it forged the family together. Dick and Damian were two of the most recent members of the family to lose their lives, only to reappear. It sometimes struck Damian as odd, that the parental deaths which had started the bat-clan seemed inflexible, and yet each present member seemed to spit in the face of the afterlife. It was if everyone had decided that the universe had already taken too much from these individuals to warrant permanently taking their lives as well. Just the same, despite the pattern, no one expected another miracle. No matter how many times loved ones returned from the grave.

So, although he had only recently returned himself, Damian had no expectation of his older brother returning. The first person to truly love him unconditionally. The first positive parental figure he really had. His hero above even Batman himself-if he was being honest, though he certainly would not be-Dick Grayson.

It was a quietly held notion which caused his heart to ache with the range of emotions that threatened to dizzy him at the sight of his beloved elder brother, alive once more. There was relief, joy, disbelief, and some curious source of leftover pain from the thought of permanent separation.

Damian was in an unprecedented cheerful mood upon the return of his brother, who took up residence in the manor for a time. He felt to be the luckiest person in the world, or at least in Gotham. His favorite brother was home and safe, and Damian was able to see him every day, just like things had been back in the day. The two of them were together again, fighting side by side, enjoying each other's company, and Richard being present to mentor and support Damian. Like everything should be.

No time was wasted in catching up. Damian made sure to provide Richard with a run down of events since their last parting, for Richard's sake _of course_. Richard would want to know about the science fair, the kind-of-sort-of friendships he was starting to figure out, the charcoal drawings that he had been working on in his sketchbook, and all the baddies that he had struck fear into. Richard always wanted updates on those sorts of things. Damian was simply providing information, not seeking acknowledgement or praise...he told himself. Dick always made it easy. He gushed over Damian's progress. He asked for a copy of one of his still life paintings to frame. He always knew how to make Damian feel special, even outside of the robin costume. It was all too perfect to last though. Usually, that was an accepted expectation for members of the family. But mental preparation does not always transfer into emotional readiness.

And Richard...well, he had no way of knowing just how much his announcement of leaving for Bludhaven would shatter Damian's heart. And self-esteem.

Factually, Damian knew that Dick was simply forging his own path, not wanting to live with his adoptive father for the rest of his life. He did not want to live off of Bruce's money and under his roof for the remainder of his adulthood. He wanted something to call his own. He wanted to strive toward the unknown. He wanted to see the surprises which the world promised to present if he looked hard enough. But some wish had already gnawed its way into Damian's heart without his consent, that Richard would stay and help raise him like he had before Bruce had returned.

Damian couldn't help but think of the childhood he could have with Richard as a guardian. Richard would attend and prioritize the parent teacher conferences, enforce family holidays and traditions, make Damian host or attend "hangouts" with other kids that he probably would not instigate without a push-but nonetheless enjoy, and give him daily encouragement. Not to say anything against his father. He greatly admired his father, and knew that his opportunity to get to know him was a gift. But sometimes he and his father were too similar, and their stubbornness only clashed. Richard's warmth had a way of making Damian find his footing as a child rather than as a soldier or a weapon. Richard saw him as a human, not a problem to be handled.

And if Richard-the only one who ever made Damian feel truly unconditionally loved-was leaving, what did that mean for Damian's future? What did it say if the one who cared for him the most didn't need him as much as Damian needed Richard in his life? _I can do better! Really, I'll try! I won't fuss as much, or get on your nerves when you're just trying to help! I could make you proud this time, if I hadn't been the brother you wanted...Just don't leave again..._ Damian wanted to bargain any way that he could. But like Bruce had done when Richard had left the manor the first time, Damian held his tongue out of pride. Like father, life son. History always finds to repeat for fools who ignore its trends. And maybe Damian would have said something if he had seen this pattern among Waynes, or if he had seen that mess that his father was when Richard left him the first time. Damian made haste with removing signs of crying before entering any public spaces, wiping away evidence of the unacceptable reality.

There would be no report cards or artwork on the stainless steal fridge. There would be no breakfast chatter or hugs before school. There would be no one to kiss the top of his head before sending him off to sleep at night, and no need to pretend to dislike these wonderful gesture. There would be so many "no more"s that Damian felt a loss which he mentally battered himself for even allowing himself such emotions. _What ungrateful feelings to have after the miracle of Grayson's return_. But this time, the original robin had departed willingly.

Richard would never know that Damian felt as though he had lost another parent due to his own unworthiness.

**Thanks for reading. I ended up deleting everything that I had posted a few years ago when I was active on the site, and am starting fresh. As it has been some time since I have actually had time to write anything for fun, I would love to hear your feedback. Things you liked, things that could be done to improve the material, etc. Again, thanks for taking the time.**


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